How Do I Keep the Faith When I’m So Damned Angry

 A few weeks back I fell and broke my left foot and my right ankle which has/had me in a cast unable to drive and get around my own home.  I have had to depend on others for so very much.  I have had to have people picking me to drive to work, having meals made, picking up my mail and taking my garbage can out. So many wonderful friends and family have truly reached out and have helped me enormously! Thanksgiving for me is time with my family on whatever day we can make it happen.  This year we all got together when Son Dan from Seattle flew in.  It happened a week prior to Thanksgiving so I made no plans on the actual day even though I had generous invites from my sister Julie and Joe to join their family, my friend Sandy and Rick and their family and my parents to join them as well.  Because of no driving I declined.  But then yesterday my daughter Jackie and David called and said they had a huge turkey and fixings for Friday.  They would call g...

 It is not officially the "Holidays" but it is "Holiday Time" at my home starting this evening.  This evening I have my son Dan coming in from Seattle.  And then we are going to celebrate my grandson Aiden's 14th birthday at the local sushi place.  My daughter Jackie, David and Evan will also be joining us.  Plans then continue for a celebration when son Richard arrives Friday eve with his family where we will celebrate his 40th, which was on November, 1st, All Saints Day. David's 39th, Aiden's 14th, which were on the 13th of November and Bianca who turned 10 Oct 24th.  Along with birthdays we will tag on Thanksgiving.  We will have a roast, roasted veggies, stuffing and pumpkin pies.   I am overjoyed for this gathering!!  The last time I had all three of my children under my roof was 2 years ago, Thanksgiving.  We will be missing Emily and Sophia but Soph is not quit old enough to receive a covid vaccine so better they wait it out ...

 I am preparing to start my next chapter.  I have learned contentment and I now believe I have found my purpose.  Yeah!  Finally!! This is kind of a long unbelievable story but I am going to write about it anyway.  The other night I was sleeping soundly and then I woke to a voice saying Aunt Ginny and her rag dolls ,that was all.  Well I have not thought about those dolls for decades.  I all but forgot about them.  When I was a little girl, my dad's Aunt would make these beautiful doll for me and my sisters.  Yarn hair, cute smiles and adorable dresses.  Anyway, after waking up to those words, I decided to look up patterns, found a  very cute one with adorable dolls on the internet.  I then ordered it to be delivered this Thursday. My parents were over visiting and filled them in on my story as well.  So then on Thursday while at work, I was talking to a seventh grade girl, and saw some drawlings of charactors she had draw...

 I am asking myself, what is it going to take?  I must be a slow learner.  I'm a very slow learner because I seemed to just keep making the same damned mistakes over and over again.  So what is it going to take??  I am learning that there are consequences to my dumb behavior.  So I keep dating men but I seem to jump into these relationship much too quickly.  I do know what I doing wrong but I don't listen!  This last guy who I met on match lived way too far away and I knew it.  He persuaded me that it would all work out, that we could work out the distance issue, so I said, like a dummy, OK.  Bottom line it didn't work out and I am now kicking myself.  I want to start over even though my head is saying take a break already.   When your head is strongly telling you one thing and you refuse to listen there will be consequences.  I won't go into all of those on here because I already know but just please listen to yourse...