Letter from Dick to Kath at Marriage Encounter 1982
Dear Kath,
Many times in the last 5 years I have asked myself this question. Everyday is another series of battles. I'm not just feeling sorry for myself - it's just a fact of life as it is for me now. I only think this way usually after we have had a bad fight and I never think about it for very long.
I go on living because of you and the kids. I can't stand the thought of leaving you all alone - of being seperated from you and them. I couldn't stand not being able to talk to you or touching you. I would miss watching our kids grow up - seeing and playing with our grandchildren. I don't want to miss all the things we want to do together that we have not done yet - traveling to different places and seeing and doing new things.Letter from Dick to Kath 1992
I sometimes think about all of the things I would have missed if I had died when I fell. I wonder if it would in the long run - have been better for you and the kids if I had died. I know that at first it would have been very hard, but you would have gotten over it after a while and gotten remarried.Then you would have a "normal" husband, one who doesn't need all the special help and who could help you with all the work you now have to do.
The kids would have a dad who could play sports and roll around on the floor, chase them, give them piggy back rides, walk through the woods, show them how to do things. As young as they are they wouldn't have known the difference after a few years.
I guess my reasons for wanting to go on living are pruly selfish ones. It's because of all the things I would miss out on.
I want to go on living with you because I can't imagine living without you. You are always telling me o go move in with my mom but I could never do that. I love you and I need to be with you the same way I need to eat and drink everyday. If I can't talk to you everyday and share the things that happened everyday, like I wrote yesterday, everything would be meaningless. being able to share with you and get your helpand support is the only way I'm able to get through the hard times in my life. I would never have been able to get through school or all the rehab work without your love and support. No matter how hard something is, some job or project, or how bad I feel about myself, I always know that you are back home and that you love meand that you will continue to love and accept me no matter how badly I do or how things turn out. It's like we are a team - we can do many things together as a team that I would never be able to do by myself.
One of the reasons we work so well as a team is because we have different skills. You are much more outgoing than I am. You always jump at the chance to help others - to volunteer to do a job that needs to be done at the school or church or where ever. I have been trying to be more like you in this area. Like I said last night, I'm not always glad to go before the event but after we are there I'm generally glad that we went. Like this weekend for example.
I just reread what I've written and realized I forgot an important thought. Just like I need you through the bad times I also need you just as much when something good happens. When something good or exciting happens at work or school or anywhere else I feel good but it's not really great until I can get home and share it with you. Like when I finished the CPA exam or when I got the job, it really wasn't fun until I could tell you and see your reaction. It would have been ok alone but it's not really fun or exciting unless I could share it with you. I guess only someone who has been through and experienced all the hard times can truly appreiciate when something good happens.
I know you think I have a problem with having or including God in our relationship. That's not really true. What I have aproblem with is expressing and sharing my feelings. The way I was raised a "real man" didn't have "feelings" and if he did he sure didn't let anyone else know it. I know it's probally hard for you to relate to but men don't talk to each other about things like that
Many times in the last 5 years I have asked myself this question. Everyday is another series of battles. I'm not just feeling sorry for myself - it's just a fact of life as it is for me now. I only think this way usually after we have had a bad fight and I never think about it for very long.
I go on living because of you and the kids. I can't stand the thought of leaving you all alone - of being seperated from you and them. I couldn't stand not being able to talk to you or touching you. I would miss watching our kids grow up - seeing and playing with our grandchildren. I don't want to miss all the things we want to do together that we have not done yet - traveling to different places and seeing and doing new things.Letter from Dick to Kath 1992
I sometimes think about all of the things I would have missed if I had died when I fell. I wonder if it would in the long run - have been better for you and the kids if I had died. I know that at first it would have been very hard, but you would have gotten over it after a while and gotten remarried.Then you would have a "normal" husband, one who doesn't need all the special help and who could help you with all the work you now have to do.
The kids would have a dad who could play sports and roll around on the floor, chase them, give them piggy back rides, walk through the woods, show them how to do things. As young as they are they wouldn't have known the difference after a few years.
I guess my reasons for wanting to go on living are pruly selfish ones. It's because of all the things I would miss out on.
I want to go on living with you because I can't imagine living without you. You are always telling me o go move in with my mom but I could never do that. I love you and I need to be with you the same way I need to eat and drink everyday. If I can't talk to you everyday and share the things that happened everyday, like I wrote yesterday, everything would be meaningless. being able to share with you and get your helpand support is the only way I'm able to get through the hard times in my life. I would never have been able to get through school or all the rehab work without your love and support. No matter how hard something is, some job or project, or how bad I feel about myself, I always know that you are back home and that you love meand that you will continue to love and accept me no matter how badly I do or how things turn out. It's like we are a team - we can do many things together as a team that I would never be able to do by myself.
One of the reasons we work so well as a team is because we have different skills. You are much more outgoing than I am. You always jump at the chance to help others - to volunteer to do a job that needs to be done at the school or church or where ever. I have been trying to be more like you in this area. Like I said last night, I'm not always glad to go before the event but after we are there I'm generally glad that we went. Like this weekend for example.
I just reread what I've written and realized I forgot an important thought. Just like I need you through the bad times I also need you just as much when something good happens. When something good or exciting happens at work or school or anywhere else I feel good but it's not really great until I can get home and share it with you. Like when I finished the CPA exam or when I got the job, it really wasn't fun until I could tell you and see your reaction. It would have been ok alone but it's not really fun or exciting unless I could share it with you. I guess only someone who has been through and experienced all the hard times can truly appreiciate when something good happens.
I know you think I have a problem with having or including God in our relationship. That's not really true. What I have aproblem with is expressing and sharing my feelings. The way I was raised a "real man" didn't have "feelings" and if he did he sure didn't let anyone else know it. I know it's probally hard for you to relate to but men don't talk to each other about things like that
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