How Do I Keep the Faith When I’m So Damned Angry

Awwwww, Thanksgiving and I'm feeling Thankful, Happy and Blessed!!!  The Happiest time of my year.  I am looking out my living room door windows on to the little frosted over lake, just a dusting of snow, simple beautiful setting.  My last evening was  spent with one of my best friends Julie.  We had drinks here, we then headed to Cincinnati for dinner and a UC Bearcats Basketball game.  We had great conversation and just ran into to so many people we knew, that local small town feeling!!  At the very end of the game as we were readying to walk out I see my two cousins and their husbands and one son.  It is always so good to see them, lovely genuine people what you call the salt of the Earth.  We spoke, got caught up and hugged tightly.  My cousin Anne, who said, "I use to babysit you when you were little" said in my ear, "I still pray for you every day".  So wonderful to hear and know that people in this world are praying for you...

I feel like the ham & cheese is a sandwich!!   I am what they call the sandwich generation, where you are a caregiver to your parents and children or grandchildren at the same time.  But I have always been a caregiver.  I was the oldest girl in a family with 9 children so I was an automatic babysitter from the beginning of time.  I then worked as a volunteer with handicapped children every summer from the age of 9 until I was 18.  Then of course I took care of Dick and the grand boys.  Now,  I am living extremely close to my parents and I don't know, may perhaps waiting for the time they will need me.  I know that probably sounds extremely weird because it may seem like I am waiting around for something to happen but that is not the case at all.  The parents are great right now and I am able to do as I wish but I do hesitate on getting on with my life because I feel that someone is going to need me.  I am trying to work t...

This morning my mind is on toxic people that are in our lives, in my life and the big question I have is how to deal with them.  What do I mean by toxic, I think we all know that toxic means poisonous but what does this mean as far as relationships? This is easy as far as my dating life.  If I meet someone and see bad behavior patterns I am not going to continue dating that person.  I have no need to keep them in my life so I would obviously break off with that man and say goodbye. The next level would be friends.  Sometimes we develop friendships and really enjoy their company for a while or a long time.  Again, if that person was dragging you down, belittling or berating you, you certainly would need to reexamine this friendship as far as how often you would want to see or spend time with them. The most difficult relationships in our lives are our families.  When a member of the  family is toxic in your life do you ignore the behavior because t...

Last night at 11:30 pm, my Aunt Joan age 91 passed away after having a massive stroke earlier this week.  Joan was my mom's older sister, a woman who lead a wonderful Christian life and will be greatly missed especially by my cousin and her family.  91 years of living.  When I woke this morning and turned on the news, the broadcast was about another mass shooting taking the lives of 12 people way too early.  I have always been of the belief of rights in a free country but these séance  less shootings have been going on far too long with no control of who is behind an firearm.  This is not protecting ones self, target shooting or hunting this is open fire at innocent people for what reason.  This angers me beyond words!! Where is the regulation on who has access to these weapons?? I strongly believe that we need to get a message of peace not hatred out in these turbulent times.  Please join me in pray for peace in our most wonderful free countr...

Where does the time go?? I have had a very busy week.  I went from needed to create activities to I let time escape from my grasp. I definitely have been needing to talk to a professional regarding my lack of motivation but have always hesitated because the last time I tried to do this right after Dick passed, the person just wasn't a good fit for me.  So I went the  other day with hopefully an opened mind and I feel she was hitting a lot of my issues pretty much on spot. The message that I took away the other day after she listened to a small part of my story is that I have so much experience as a caregiver with a lack of educational opportunities to take it anywhere as far as a career in the eyes of society.  This is very important because she saw in the course of an hour that I have enough life time caregiving that I could share or counsel others. I probably also have enough to be a RN if not a DR.  She said to truly do anything as far as leading a group,...