Healing Is A Thing

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Good Morning!!! As always I have taken some time getting back on here.

My Holidays, first year after losing Dick were a bit more challenging than I had anticipated. Over all I am not getting it together as well as I had hope I would. I am doing very well in my spiritual life, doing well in my eating and exercise regiment. Friends and family have been wonderful. I'm just not getting on well with my purpose in life. I spend a lot of time in prayer on this subject and I know the answer will come but it hasn't yet. While talking to my friend yesterday, she said, Kath you know I'm a straight shooter and if I thought you were doing something in the wrong manner I would tell you, but she said you need to just not rush into life and take time to heal. Healing is a thing, a thing you have to work on and do. I have never thought of life like that, I have always, through all the hard times, thought strength was shown by moving on. Getting your life together, having all the pieces in puzzle intact.

I tried so hard to show that I had it together after Dick first had his accident. Just by really not stopping life and continuing like nothing really happened. I am finding this must be a pattern with me. But I am finding that being Dick's caregiver for the last 28 years is really what I let define me and now the moving on process is leaving me at a stand still. I have never dreamed that I would ever even consider being a caregiver again, but that is one of thoughts I have been having lately is to apply to the local nursing home paid or not and help out there. I always thought that I would only want to work as a receptionist. I have been a caregiver all my life. Being the oldest girl of nine children. Working my summer vacations as a child with children with down syndrome, babysitter and then taking care of my husband.

Right now at this time I will continue to pray that I figure out the path I am suppose to be on at this time in my life.

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