How Do I Keep the Faith When I’m So Damned Angry

I am still a little leary about how alive I feel. I have always felt that if I am too happy something bad will happen, but then I pray and move on. I last told you that I was with my brother and that maybe he needed to connect with family, well I was wrong, very wrong. He knew will we were together that he was going back to prison but you would never know that by his behavior except that he did seem a bit nervous in the car. I was taking him to have a urine test because he has been on probation and that was part of his terms, little did I know that he was setting me up just to have someone on his "goodside" while he is locked up. Not this time! I am really tired of being used, of enabling him. His hearing is tomarrow morning and I along with the rest of my family feel that if he sees us their he will think that we are supporting him again, and what I mean by that is monitary wise. We will never stop supporting him as a family as far as love and prayer but the sending...

I am wondering if I am alive. I am starting to feel again. I have not felt this for four to five years I can;t remember how many years it's been but whenever I had my breakdown in Fl. I have been dead for so many years, and have not wanted to be alive. I cannot tell you what has happened but all of I sudden I want to live life again. I want to do things and feel again. I am scared because I don't know if this feeling is going to last. I am afraid that I will wake up and want to die again. I know that there is so much to live for and then again I think it would be easier to just be gone. I know that this all sounds absurd but I go through so called "normal life" and then not being able to cope. I need help and prayers. I know that the world needs peace, and in mass today, the readings were about being a person that can bring peace to Earth. I would just love a little peace in myself. I was with my brother yesterday and really struggled weather to call him ba...