How Do I Keep the Faith When I’m So Damned Angry

I used to think that if you were in a bad situation it just depended on what your whole situation was on had bad you had it. I have a difficult situation in my life but some people get a hang nail in comparison, but in their life and situation it could be just a terrible thing for them. I once knew a couple who we hung out with, they had money, a gorgeous home, two beautiful good children, she was a stay at home mom, she had a loving husband, had a maid and everything else you could dream of. but all she ever did was whine. At first I thought: man lady, you should live a day in my shoes. But do you know what? I don't think she would survive an hour. Then I realized, : it's all relative. I take care of my husband Dick, who is Quadreplegic and has recently suffered a stroke and we are unemployed. It seems bad to some people to us too. But some people can not handle the least little problem in their life. I feel for them because they just don't have the make-up t...

Right now, today, I am at a place of complete confusion. It is the most beautiful weather here in Harrison OH. I have just decided to sit out on the screened in porch to write. When I came out here this morning I did not have anything specific that I wanted to write about. But the temperature is so absolutly pleasant. I am sitting here with an anxious feeling that I will be disturbed. Knowing that Dick is home full-time and the elevator is broke, you never know when he'll scream "KATH". I also hear Jackie routing around in the kitchen. The next door neighbors are adding an addition to their kitchen and the saw and hammering is rather disturbing but not as much as the country music someone just turned on accross the street. It must be someone working on the road. Wow, that was quick, they turned it down. I just love the sound of the crickets, birds and cicadas chirping. But when you sit down to write you hear it all We have had many expenses of late. Unexpecte...

Yesterday I had a dinner party for my Dad's 74th Birthday. Just family. It just amazes me now how much Dad and I have in common. Mom had baked a blueberry pie for dessert. Dad picked the berries from the place that I recommended. Then we started to talk about the berries. I picked 10 lbs. Dad also picked 10lb. But the weird thing was I started to tell him how I just loved being there, out in the sun, all alone, and close to God. My Dad got a wierd look on his face and I just knew that he had had the same experience. We shared this experience, not their together but we had the same wonder thing happen. I told the family when I was the at the berry farm how I looked at the bushes and their beauty was so overwhelming. I just felt one with the Lord. So very close. It just amazed me how beautiful the bushes were, with the hot sun beating down on me, the sweat was pouring from my forehead and the spirit of God was so strong that it brought tears to my eyes. Normally I would ...

I'm having much anxiety lately. Being bored has a lot to do with it. I had planned on having a full-time job, career by now but stuff happens. I have to be home right now to take care of my hubby, he needs me. This is where I am suppose to be at this time. things don't always go as planned. I feel like I have let things slip away abit. I feel like I need to just step in here and take the bull by the horns and get things back on track. I have thing thing I call faith, faith in God. And right now I just have to sit back and know that "He" will take care of me.

Have you ever had an internal voice? No not the same as hearing voices. It's like an internal conversation with yourself. I first notice that I had this when I was a young girl watching the Walton's. Remember the one when John Boy said "Mama, sometime I just have to write". It was at this time the I realize I had to do what John Boy did, keep a notebook by the bed. I make list all the time and when something profound pops in my head I have to write it down, if I won't it will just stay there till I write it. I always have a need to figure out, WHY??? Why people do what they do is a big one. I also try to solve things. A strong faith is another part of who I am. I am in no saying that Iam perfect or a holy roller. I just have a real need to keep learning more of what the bible has to teach me. I know I will be a better more loving person by having this knowledge. I have had many trials in my life and I will share more as I go, it is going to take some ...

hi this is my first blog ever, pretty late at night right now, just testing the fonts. I have a lot of stuff going on and I am always searching, soul searching. I will fill you in.