How Do I Keep the Faith When I’m So Damned Angry

I just thought I'd check in because I haven't been on here in quit a while. I have been suffering from some depression in the past couple months. Sometime that will get me in the writing mood and other times it really keeps me from writing, ya just never know! I am now in a up swing mood finally, Yah! I just wish it would last but it never does and I don't seem to have any control over this. I have my 50th birthday coming up in a few days, and it seem like "everybody" thinks this should make you feel different, but I don't. I feel the same as I always do. The only thing that I notice any difference in is my face, it looks older to me in pictures. I want to get my zest for life back. Funny the phone just rang, I wasn't going to pick it up because it was a number that I didn't know, and it was my brother Jim checking in. He said that he is working and doing well and just calling to say hi. And that, is Good!

 

When I was in third grade and attending Catholic School, I had a nun for my teacher. She use to always tell great stories about prayer, I loved to hear her stories. They always stuck with me along with her way of praying. She believed in signs and that was how she knew her prayers were answered. She also told us that when ever she heard an ambulance she would say a "Hail Mary"; I have done that since third grade. I have planted alot of things in my yard and gardens and on the back hill I have a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary that leads to my gazabo. Many years ago I planted many daffodils and some tulips. The daffodils came up very plentiful but to my disappointment only one red tulip would come up and bloom, year after year, the one red tulip. I always thought of this tulip as a sign that my brother Mark was okay with the Lord up in Heaven. Mark died back in 1979, in a tradgic car accident. Last year I swear I only remember the one tulip blooming. Well, I know ...