How Do I Keep the Faith When I’m So Damned Angry

 Sitting on the screened in porch on my deck watching many cardinals.  This started my summer project  of my  backyard bird sanctuary.  Which then took on a like of its own. I proceeded to cut Back many weeds and honeysuckle bushes to clear a huge area, I then sprayed poison ivy and many other ground coverings. I then went to the local garden store purchased a cardinal bird feeder, gathered my St. Francis statue that I had stored at my daughter's home.  I then saw my vision coming to life. My next purchase was a garden bench and a bird bath.  I hung another bird feeder.  I was seeing all minds of animal activities, birds of all kinds but speed of  cardinals.  Of course many squirrels, a fox on a chipmonk which I save from being eaten when I opened the door. But it was the deer family who hugely entertained me.  The deer were bucks with eight points,  a momma and two spotted babies.  I started placing pavers in the dirt whi...

 I have never been upposed to technology, if fact I have embraced it from early on, when Amazon started selling on line, I bought the kids Christmas gifts via on-line. And so it went. Some , most people were I'd say, sceptical.  When covid hit a few years back things really began to change.  Many more people, being stuck in the house were forced to "work and shop from home".  At this time in my life, retired, I do have much time to check out different options along with my physical activities I have discovered so many avenues online that are beneficial. Podcast are fabulous filled with stories and information. I can be on a walk and listen to inspirational podcast such as Tedtalks and so much more.  It really does make the time fly while walking.  I also love audio books for my walks.  Book and show reviews are available as well. YouTube I started using to assemble and fix items around my home.  I am able to look up any task to tackle as far as DY...

 I love where my life is at this time.  I feel that I am in a fabulous spiritual space. I am so blessed with my children and their families, everyone is thriving and this thrills be beyond.  So blessed to have my parents at this age in my life, they continue to guide me in my life at the age of 64; they are amazing!  I have been praying to God to use my for his mission, how does he want me to work for him in my life and it is becoming clearer each day.  These are by no means Earth shattering but I do believe that I am moving in a positive direction. My personal life has been a work in progress as you all know.  I have been however blessed to be invited into a women's pray group at church, I have my close friends of girls in my social life which has branched out to book club, cycling and golfing; some pickle ball as well.  I have met a man that I love dearly. We have now been in a relationship for 15 months.  I enjoy our time together very much in ...

 What is on my mind is my thought today.  I have a list of prayers and my top prayer is for my sister Janie after surgery.  Praying for her speedy and full recovery.  I have so many thoughts but I have just been having a difficult time focusing and putting them into to words, hence my lack of writing anything lately.  When I get like this I seem to just forget everything.  I know it is called ADHD but at this age we were  never diagnosed with such things.  I just feel scattered! Now back to prayers.  There are  times when I say I'll pray for you.  At pray I have to really try hard to remember who or what I am praying for so I try to cover all by saying and all my intentions but can not remember at this exact time.... I hope that's okay???

 This past weekend was the 7th Anniversary of Dick's death, 02/05/2015.  In a couple weeks it will be the Anniversary of the Accident, 02/19/1987.  When I received an email from the Jesuit Spiritual Center of an upcoming retreat on Restoration and the gifts of the Holy Spirit that would be happening on 02/05/2022 I could not pass it up, I could not think of a better way to spend my day. This date is also significant because it just so happened that Dick's passing happened on our new daughter in law's birthday.  I am really into the significance of numbers... anyway Emily was turning 35, and I wanted her to send her a special bouquet of flowers.  Dick's accident was 35 yrs ago. I received the message that the flowers had been delivered but when I spoke to our son Dan he said they did not receive them but that it was okay because they were having a great weekend.  I was in a tizzy... I had to decide weather or not to leave for the retreat due to freezing, col...

 I have been rejected yet again by the new guy.  I have experienced this more this year than any other time in my life.  I know someone else who had been rejected in a job position, well actually I've known of a few.  I have children in my job that have been rejected by other children not wanting to play with them. Is there anyone who can say that they have never felt rejections?  I doubt very much that there is.   I believe that we all receive rejection and handle it in accordance of where we are at emotionally.  I feel that if you are dating, in a job, with friends, etc. our state of mind and confidence comes into play.  I happen to have been in a very solid place, state of mind at the time I was presented by a friend to start dating this particular individual.  I was not out searching so when he abruptly ended our dates I find myself  doing rather well.  This was not the case after my past relationships because I had taken t...